One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
