This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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