"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
