hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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