Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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