yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
