The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize