Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
