it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
