And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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