At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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