I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
