I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't think brook has ever known best
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
