I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
