why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Let's get the cat blown out
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
