At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
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