i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
