He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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