i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
