sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
