So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
