idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
