Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
