Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You smell like stripper and shame
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Houston, we have a squirter
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
