Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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