would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My liver just had a heart attack.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize