This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
