i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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