You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize