What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
