I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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