Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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