not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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