My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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