i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize