Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
