things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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