do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
