I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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