so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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