Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
