Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
