I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
