We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
