Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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