Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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