whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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