I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
