I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
