I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
