is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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