Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize