What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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