you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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