What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Drunk is not a location!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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