sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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