i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
