I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Someone shattered a urinal.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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