He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
