So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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