So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
