that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
