I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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