Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
