My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
