Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
