If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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