Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
