P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
