well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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